Dear Future Self – a letter to myself
Dear Future Self – a letter to myself
… I don’t even know how to start this letter. It’s 2018, there’s a new IPCC report on climate change that just came out and I’m scared. But what’s worse is this other feeling that has been growing inside of me. It started a few months ago, maybe it was already there and it just got bigger and bigger. Quietly getting a voice. And when I finally got to watch „Before the flood“ and „True Cost“ on the same day, pay-day was here. All I could feel was shame. Shame for without even realising, living like there’s no tomorrow. Consuming, buying stuff, eating what I want, flying and worst of all shopping like a maniac – but for what? For feeling a tiny bit better, when in the end the small emptiness that each and every one of us feels from time to time is still there. And no chocolate, shoes, coats or whatever it is this time I thought I HAD to buy, is gonna help with that feeling.
All my jabbering is probably making not much sense to you, but there is this fight in me, you know? Two topics that have been hanging over my head. Global warming and fast fashion. Two topic that are not the same, but yet intertwined. Did you know that fast fashion is the second biggest cause for polluting the earth behind the oil industry? That hit me pretty hard. Actually leaving me there on the couch, in my nice flat with my big closet, just crying for days. Whenever I looked at my closet, or even got compliments for my outfit the next day at work I just felt bad, so bad that it felt like mourning. Like I was mourning the old me. The version of me, that went through life, you know knowing of course there is inequality and global warming, but not really letting these facts to close. The version of me that wasn’t necessarily bad, you know I still donated from time to time, tried to not buy stuff from bad companies etc. but not the version that would leave the world a better place than it was before I existed. If anyone can ever really reach that.
You see I wanted to write this letter for two weeks now. Doing my research, looking up on fair fashion (omg that’s a whole new struggle – I mean being plus size literally prevents me from going to most fair fashion stores, thank you for that!) and trying to put my thoughts in order, to plan for the future. To find some hope, or a plan. Yes, a plan is always good. Cause with plans it’s easy you know. You just follow the steps that you decided on before, and feel a little bit less lost. But here I am, still being confused, being overwhelmed. Feeling less guilty, but still sad or angry from time to time. But behind all this chaos that’s going on in my head right now, that’s going on in the world right now. I decided on a few things.
- I want to be vegetarian 90% of the time
- No fast fashion anymore (this point will be unfortunately one of the most difficult, because there is almost no offer for fair fashion in bigger sizes, but I will not give up so fast!)
- Always have a glass or metal bottle with me to avoid plastic waste or better reduce my general waste as much as possible
- More traveling without getting on the plane (I’ll never be able to give up travel or flying, but I think there are still countless beautiful spots on this earth that are closer than to me than imagined)
You know these decisions might not save the world, or make a huge change on the global scale. But I still want to live in a world, where I have the power to change something. A world, where I think we as a human species can work together and change for the better. And if I might not save the world, maybe, at least, I save myself and can look in the mirror a bit prouder again…
You have more questions about this topic?
Since I am no expert in this area and still have a lot to learn myself, I want to refer you to the following pages. Let’s learn together how to live a little more sustainable!
The homepage of the Intergovernmental Panel on Change IPCC
The homepage of the United Nations Environment Program
Daria Daria’s collection of links to fair fashion, sustainability, books, movies and more
Vivien’s blog about Sustainable life from which we can all learn a great deal